Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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