If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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