I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
