I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
