even my farts smell like vagina
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
