My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
