I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
