i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am spending my child support on dildos
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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