Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
