yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
