So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Damn victory sex feels great
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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