ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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