I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
