Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
