Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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