I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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