How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i love accidental penises.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
