I wish life had little blips of pornography
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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