My first STD was from a foam party
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
