I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
