out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
