yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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