he shaved USA in his pubs
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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