There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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