it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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