He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That accounts for only three of the penises
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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