omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
