I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
