Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
