I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
