Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
