Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
