I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
