Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
