Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
