I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
