I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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