i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
