Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
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