Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
