love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
