It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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