Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
