real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
