There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
