we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
