You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Randomize
