bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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