What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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