That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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