Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
