Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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