she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
