as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
