i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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