I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
